every parent eventually realizes their kid is a tiny grief manager working with limited information. the griefs are real. the scale is off. that's the whole bit.

the list, monday to friday

  • the moon, for being in the wrong window.
  • his sock, for being a sock.
  • the banana i peeled, because she wanted to peel the banana.
  • the same banana, after she peeled it, because it was now peeled.
  • the dog, for going outside without saying goodbye.
  • the dog, for coming back inside.
  • tuesday, in general.
  • his shadow, for following him.
  • his shadow, for stopping when he stopped.
  • the song that ended.
  • the song that started.

she cried because the cracker she wanted was the cracker she had.

field notes, week of may 19

we keep these in Kaiary now. not because they're heartbreaking — although the moon one really got me — but because in six months you won't be able to tell me a single thing your toddler grieved this week, and that's a real loss. write them down. the banana is the whole point.